I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
