If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
