is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
