I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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