Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
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