I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
