When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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