Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.