to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.