I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915