it hurts more in the daytime
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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