i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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