If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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