Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
