you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
