I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
