the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm passing your future prison.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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