It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The air was thick with penises
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
