Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
