Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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