p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
