She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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