It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
