A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
it's like iHOP with fire
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
