you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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