problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
They have beer where we have blood.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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