Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
