Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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