Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
