i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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