Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
