she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
