Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Randomize