He disabled his match.com account in front of me
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
