Your mouth is God's brothel.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
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