it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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