it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize