I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I think people are normalizing furries
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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