Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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