so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I am midnight drunk by noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Success! We fucked roommates!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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