i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
