dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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