Can Purell be used as lube?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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