Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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