I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
