Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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