So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
