Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
