I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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