After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
