dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
