is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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