We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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