She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm bleeding and have questions
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
