I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
