She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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