If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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