Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize