My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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