Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
