I have demons in me.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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