Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
