That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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