I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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